Toxic Positivity

Have you thought about this concept?

I just discovered recently. It’s when I say that everything is ok but in reality I’m denying my real feelings…mmm let me check in google:

“We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience…” 

https://thepsychologygroup.com/toxic-positivity/

Also I found this video:

I definitely have done this to myself and others, interesting. What about you?
I really appreciate the video explaining my behavior, the only part where I don’t agree is the last part where they tell you how people should be more understanding about our feelings (or I should be more understanding of others) because that makes me think that everyone should understand me and that’s no possible, at least I don’t think it’s possible now because I myself won’t be able to do that all the time (to be understanding and loving, I’m working on it but I don’t see it completely real) It’s like going back to denying that other people won’t be able to please us or help us or make us feel better all the time, which is falling into denial again that is basically what is toxic positivity. I think that is important to take responsibility for my feelings for example that I can’t handle a situation right now and I need to understand that and if I need space, support or understanding I need to voice it and if no-one can help in that moment, look for it or go somewhere else, don’t expect others to solve my emotional world.
Love,
Paola

 

Have you been scared of spending money?

Because I have and  lots of times. I was wondering where this idea could come from so I first look for

for this in google and the article that connected the most to me was this one:

When been cheap becomes an obsession

https://www.today.com/news/when-being-cheap-becomes-obsession-wbna42276725

I wrote this draft back in December and I was surprised how this sounds like I have something wrong in me. Lately, I have been listening to “The work” At Home with Byron Katie and now I’m wondering if this is true.

Love,

Paola

Nothing is original

I have been thinking about this lately because at this point in my path as an artist I think that I’m being heavily influence by the work of other artists, specially Frannerd and this has created discomfort in my head. 

I remember this happened to me a couple of years ago and I just couldn’t continue working with my art anymore, I felt that I was just copying her and not creating something special and I felt that coming again, this scared me a lot. Have this happened to you?

This time I decided to do a little research in YouTube to see other’s points of view and these are the videos that I found. Maybe you are going through the same and this could be very helpful for you:

(Video 1. Steal like an artist | Austin Kleon)

(Video 2. Creativity is a remix | Kirby Ferguson)

(Video 3. In your lifetime you’ll never think an original idea | Thoughty2)

(Video 4. Nothing is 100% or 0% original | Whyt Manga)

By the way this is what I remember from each video:

Video 1: Nothing is original
Video 2: Even the greatest copy, including Steve Jobs and later they don’t want to be copied.
Video 3: You can create something unique when this art passes through you way to perceive life.
Video 4: Nothing is original there is even a scale haha.

With lots of love,

Paola

Life is Not Black and White

 

Wow this was exactly what I was looking for. Today, I discovered that life is no Black or White and I have that feeling for the longest time but I didn’t look into this until today. I feel that everyone says “Life have greys too” but I didn’t hear examples of those greys before. Also, I think you’re completely right about more constructive discussions or at least more gentle discussions would come out of this way of understanding the world because I would deeply understand that what I think could has wrong and goods (this is so liberating). I feel like as a society we’re not use to kindness towards ourselves ( the most important one) or others that’s why is so hard to believe this concept (and this could be wrong and right at the same time 😂).

-Extract from my comment for this video in YouTube 

I also found this super interesting article about the effect of living in a world where we see thing as opposites and how it affects our mental health:

Unity in the world of opposites

Definitely and must read if you want to know more about what the video is referring to in a deeper way.

Finally, remember that is important to work questioning you own thinking. I do this through The Work. A very cool tool that the author of the book Loving What Is developed or found, sometimes she says it found her haha. 

Big hugs,

Paola

In love with Jenna Lyons, sincerity, kindness and openness

Lately I have been in this weird journey towards myself, started by the courage I have seen in Frannerd’s Patreon account, wait a second…you know what? I would say it started with Byron Katie “Loving What Is” book which laid the foundation to allow Fran’s openness, sweetness and kindness get into my heart and now this woman, Jenna Lyons.

Well well, where to start? You know I used to work in the Fashion Industry which I left because of the toxicity I felt in the work place, since then I have been looking for something different which I didn’t find until recently in Frannerd’s Patreon, a space where I can be myself and share what I create or think without feeling judge or made fun of. Anyways today while in the subway I saw a sign announcing the newest Jenna Lyons’ show “Stylish with Jenna Lyons” which it immediately reminded me of this tall beautiful woman which style I use to love so deeply that I have to connect with her (if you don’t know her, she use to work as a Creative Director for JCrew and she with Mickey Drexler basically grew the brand like never before, and like 2 years ago she left her position and went away from the cameras for a while…just saying in the gossip note), it was when my craziness started haha. I just went down the rabbit hole and found such a beautiful, sincere and kind woman that I wanted to share her with you, through all these videos that I found.

(1)

(2)
(3)
(4)

(5)

(6)
(7)

(8)
(9)

(10)

Which one was your favorite?

Maybe in this moment you need to know that there are honest and kind people in the world, willing to open herselves in a way never seen before. Maybe, this will inspire you to give yourself permission to be yourself too and share that beautiful and creative person that you are. I know I needed it so here I’m being honest with you too and hoping like a chain this runs to the hearts of others.

Love,

Paola